Jolenesbedroom Solo Girl Independent Operator Phonesex Blog

I laughed so hard when I heard this joke thought you might like it too!

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn’t like each other very much and one day, whilst they were walking through the woods they came across a golden frog. The frog turned to them and said: “Ooh, I don’t often meet anyone in these parts.” They were amazed that the frog had talked to them.

The golden frog admitted: “Mind you, when I do meet someone I always give them six wishes. You can have three wishes each in this case.

Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish.

Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head.

Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit’s wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish.

Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine.

Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world.

The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.

Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said: “I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!” and rode off as fast as he could!

Obviously I am feeling better so please let the calls resume…I hate getting colds! Don’t you?

Sorry I have a cold… but my voice is not tip-top. I will be answering my phone very soon… hopefully tomorrow …. fingers crossed! Don’t give up on me… Who can be perfectly healthy all the time? So I apologize for the inconvience my cold may has cause any of you gentlemen…..Forgive?

A tomato, a piece of gum, and a penis are all talking.

The tomato says “I’ve got the worst live, I get cut up and stuck in a sandwhich”.

The piece of gum says “No, mine’s worse, I get chewed up, spit out and stepped on”.

The penis says “No, by far I’ve got the worst life… I get a plastic bag stuck over my head, then I’m shoved in a dark tunnel and made to do push ups ’till I throw up!”

I absolutely love calls that have men that are uncircumcised. I guess it’s because I love dating men that are uncircumcised. I know for a fact that men who aren’t circumcised can grow bigger and thicker than men that are circumcised. They take so much a way from a man when they circumcised him. It really isn’t fair because they do it at such a young age. You can hardly ask a baby would you like to enjoy a masturbation later in life or would you rather not, the world looks so down on masturbation even though we know so many people do it. People do it you wouldn’t even dream would even do it. Men that say they don’t, are liars! I do know some women who don’t know what an orgasm feels like because they faked them so long for men who aren’t any good in bed. When you fake an orgasm you are telling the man, “good job!” Whether they did one or not. As far as I’m concerned faking an orgasm is one of the worst things a woman can do.

I’ll tell you what, I never, NEVER, fake an orgasm. What’s the point? If I don’t, cum, then where is the euphoria, where is the pleasure, where is the fun. It’s like driving past a concert that you really want to see, slow enough to hear one song and say you went to the concert, now, is that not a lie. You can’t just lie like that. Where’s your ticket stub? You still have your hearing… LOL… you didn’t go!

Now, back to men that are uncircumcised for those of you who are, I’m sorry your parents and the doctor seemed to think that losing part of your body is a good thing. Anyone that would do that to a child should really have it done to themselves as an adult. Do you really think it would happen anymore. If an uncircumcised penis is well taken care of it will bring much pleasure. Yes I know, it takes a little extra cleaning but think about us girls. The things we go through to make sure we’re clean. And the things we go through to please a man, we shave our legs and other parts of our bodies and let’s not forget keeping your hair long and pretty. Do you think taking care of long hair is easy. Any man with long hair will agree, I realized men shave their faces but they don’t have to to attract women. I personally like a man with a fuzzy face…YUM… now that feels good, at least when they’re down there in between my legs and sucking on my nipples it tickles and I love it. Let’s just say I love a man with all his parts attached to his body. So any of you fathers out there who think that circumcising your son at birth just because you were is fair, well let’s just say, “DON’ T!” As I said well taken care of it can bring much pleasure to both him and his future wife, girlfriend, or whatever.

Personally, a circumcised man just cannot ever acquire the pleasure that an uncircumcised man can get. It will actually, make a man bigger and I’m not kidding, and if you ask why, well think about it, there is extra skin that can get engorged with blood making his cock huge and thick. I know women that don’t like men that are uncircumcised and that’s fine, that’s their choice. I like them both ways but the man with the choice to get larger will always be my first choice…. I know it takes more work to make sure that it stays clean but let me share something with you, it’s worth it!

I know on my website it does not say that I do very much cuckolding or sissification but I do enjoy doing it and I am good at it. I just recently had a call that I enjoyed very much though I think I enjoy doing it too much because the calls are never long enough. My imagination gets too wild and the man I’m talking to gets too excited, it’s not the person it’s me. I get too excited because it’s so much fun they say you should only do things you know about, they also say you should only write what you know about, not quite sure who THEY are. In this case though I believe THEY are right. You can tell someone who writes about something they know nothing about. You can also tell someone who talks about things they know nothing about if you need to look something up in an encyclopedia I would consider that a term paper not free scripted writing. I have a way with words so I’ve been told and my voice I have been told is like that of an angel, with horns holding the Halo up of course… LOL…

I love men, plain and simple. If they want me to dress them up like a girl, then I shall do it if they want to spanked me and then I shall let them, if they want to fuck me then I shall let them if they want a blow job and then I shall suck their Cock. I guess it’s just a matter of love for men! I did however, very much enjoy that particular call that I did this weekend and if you are reading this now I hope you call back because I had a great time and you seem to me to. I have other things to talk about and many other ideas if, your game. If YOUR are not reading this and I hope someone else who likes of sissification is! Just because my website doesn’t say I do any particular thing in emphasis does not mean that I don’t enjoy it… I enjoy many things my sexual desires are very diversified so please feel free to call me anytime. I enjoy everything!!! Don’t be scared and don’t worry it’s very confidential. Even when I write about it. Nothing is mentioned of who you are. I just want to share with you that I enjoyed it just in case you’re reading, Also just in case anyone else is reading who may enjoy it. Like I said my sexual desires are VERY diversified. You can come to me with anything and everything. If you read down my index page there is a list of sexual fantasies that I just suggest in case you don’t know what you want until you call me. Take a look read, listen, and enjoy. And that is what I post this for…

Late last night….I woke up after sleeping for about a hour and a half so horny I could barely contain myself… so I did what I always do when that happens I reached over under my pile pillows that I keep spread down one side of my bed, (That gives me the illusion that there is some one laying there next to me.) and pulled out some some of my favorite toys, vibrator, my butt plug, nipple clamps… I thought that would do!.. I put a couple of dabs of oil on the butt plug and slowly pushed it slowly up my tight rear hole… I like to push it quickly over the large end before it narrows… because that will get a whelp out of me and that feels so hot! I slipped the very cold vibrator between the lips of my pussy, oh how that feels, Nice!

I decided to pull it a way and walk into the kitchen butt plug in place and get a little bowl of about 5 ice cubes and go back to my bedroom, grinning knowing what I was going to do….Man I can get kinky sometimes….even alone! I laid back down in bed and
slipped an ice cube up inside my very hot pussy…. I quivered with the excitement of the ice and then i pushed my vibrator inside…I could feel it klinking on the ice cube. I ran the other vibrator over my clit, now that felt really good I could feel the excitement building and then I could feel the juice running down my ass cheeks…. when suddenly the phone rang. On the other end of the phone, thankfully it was the familiar voice of a regular client…. I hate it when I am in the throws of passion and I have to stop to verify information…. That can be very frustrating, especially having already had my first orgasm.

He was glad he called when he did though because I was already going into my second orgasm… by the time we finished I had cum eight times and he was quite a satisfied man when we finished and money well spent…. those were his words! I also was very
satisfied! I love calls where I get to have multiple orgasms and they cum and we are both happy!

I had really hot call last night. I really enjoyed that. Even the calls that come at three in the morning can really be fun. As long as I’m awake and I answer the phone. Sometimes when I’m sleeping I don’t hear the phone time and I hope my callers understand that. I can’t be awake 24 hours a day seven days a week but I do try to answer every call.

I enjoy some of the dirty calls especially late at night when I’m feeling all horny. Sometimes these men can get really kinky I enjoy those calls. When it’s three in the morning and I have three vibrators going and I keep cumming and cumming. I get real hot, then. After a call like that I can just float back into sleep, peaceful and euphoric. It’s easy to sleep when you feel like that, so fun.So keep the calls coming, gentlemen.

You know I enjoy it and you know you want it. If you enjoy phone sex you’ll love it with me. You know that having a woman on the other end of the phone that is really cumming is hot. I love to hear man cum. That is one of my true enjoyments in life. Helping men cum is my job and I love my job! It is more than a job it is a passion!

I do love calls that are fun and interesting and even if I have had someone call me in the past every call is different in it’s own right. Even though I do this for a living every call is fun… I guess it is the fact that I love what I do. I enjoy talking about sex and I love masterbating while on the phone with men that know how to treat a woman. I love phone sex in all it’s avenues be it dirty or fun or straight up…. I love talking about sex… I guess it is probably because I love having sex… So in between phone sex fills in the gaps!

Yesterday, I had a great time a friend’s house, we always talked for a while about guys and things but then we always end up getting naked because we both like each others bodies she’s got nice boobs. I just love it when she takes my clothes off for me. And then I do her the same favor.

We decided that we were going to involve food today, so we opened the refrigerator door and sat down on her cold kitchen floor. Something about a cold surface makes my nipples hard and hers too. As I sit here thinking about it I am using nice vibrator and have a black lace bra on and silk panties! I love to dress sexy and when I do my blogs, so you can imagine what I’m wearing while I write my blog. Something about dressing up makes me feel hotter and sexier.

I enjoy a masturbating so much that I always do when I blog that way I can cum when I finish. So you get the idea… of what I’m doing while I’m writing I feel then it turns you on more than just the blog itself. I almost enjoy my blogs probably as much as you, may be more!

One of the most enjoyable moments is when we’ll take fruit and blindfold each other so we can taste it and see if we can identify it and where it’s being held; I will explain that, an example of yesterday, she put a slice of kiwi between her pussy lips, and leaned over my face and I then licked the fruit and I felt her perfect pubic hair, I say perfect because it’s very similar to mine…. (GRIN)…

I licked her pussy and tasted that too, I couldn’t identify the kiwi right away but then I slid it into my mouth as I wrapped my tongue up over her clit. She moaned, very, very loud and I giggled, making her giggle and she pushed her pussy down my face harder when she giggled, losing control for a moment.

Then it was my turn, she laid down on her back I put the blindfold on her face. I sliced a strawberry in half and slid the strawberry partially into my pussy, so she would have to go deeper for it. That was payback for her shoving her pussy into my mouth, hard. As I was leaning over her face the doorbell rang. She went to jump up pushed her face into my crotch, I about came in her face when her nose hit my clit pushing the strawberry in all the way with her chin.

She ripped the blindfold off and freaked because she thought it might be her mother, that would be bad. Apparently the door was unlocked… whoops forgot that part but in walked Roger that was one of her fuck buddies or what you would say a friend with benefits. Today it looked like he was going to get double benefits… FUN … he was pretty cute anyway and even going bald a little. Mmmmmm… one of my favorite things as you know. He kind of reminded me of Jack Nicholson, he was a little older than us and that is really hot for me. She knew I liked him, too.

So she invited him in. That was kind of hard to do because he was already in. He turned the corner into the kitchen and just stared at us laying on the floor with the refrigerator door hanging open. She leaned her head back against the floor so she could see him. We are naked playing with fruit and our pussies…. and all she said to him was hey Roger. I was a little surprised at her nonchalant greeting because I was on my knees with her face between my legs.

He smiled, after that moment of shock. And then he asked if he could join in. I thought he was hot. He was her friend so it was up to her because it was her house. She told him that would be fine. She grabbed my hips and she lifted me off her face gently. She looked at him, she looked at me and pointed at me… nodding in my direction, she was intentionally without saying a thing telling him to do her first, meaning me… Me?

I never saw anyone get undressed that quickly before my life, his cock was so hard and his head was swollen, purple like a throbbing plum. She told him I had a piece of fruit stuck up inside my cunt, giggling. I kind of wedged it up there she told him, when you walked in.

He strolled through the kitchen to us and knelt down in between my legs, pushing them apart gently he put his warm face tight up to my pussy, reaching his tongue into me, he grasped the strawberry with both his tongue and teeth. He grazed my clit with his teeth, when he did that. At that very moment I squirted cum all over his face, he smiled and slid his body up my body and pushed his huge cock into my cunt stretching me open, he didn’t have that long of a penis but it felt like a soup can going up inside me I came, I came instantly upon penetration. My friend sucking his balls as he pulled out and squirted cum All over my tits and stomach.

My friend then proceeded to lick it off biting my nipples as she did so, as she was bent over me he was still rock hard and took his wet cock… that was from my cum… and his cum mix together and slid it up her ass while she finished licking me off, biting and sucking on my nipples the whole time back and forth and then down to my pussy to lick my juices. While he fucked her ass and she screamed harder, faster. To faster he did it to her the harder she pushed her face into my pussy, I came again. She begged him to shoot his hot load up her ass, he grabbed her hips and yanked her in. I never heard anyone holler that loud I think it was the both of them together and my orgasms kept coming while her tongue went crazy in my pussy the floor got slippery in her kitchen yesterday. Wow! What a great time.

He reached over and grabbed three beers out of the fridge, handing one to me and went to her. We just sat on the wet kitchen floor and chatted for a while naked. I love being naked, as you already know but do have to other people do with me the more the merrier. We sat and talked all afternoon and evening but we did close refrigerator door…. just in case you were wondering. That was the best threesome I’ve had in a long time and it’ll be a while before ever forget it, if ever.